Gaara Discovers April Fools Day
by Dilly-Oh
Summary: In the newest 'Gaara Discovers', Gaara must run for his life as he April Fools Kankuro, incurring his wrath! Will he be safe with his friends, or will they cast him out to save themselves? Read and find out! Review, please!


Author's Note: Gawd, _finally_! I waited and waited for my mojo kick in, and when it finally did, I was in freaking _bed_! I had to wait until the next morning to write everything! Talk about unpredictable. Anyway, thank you, Ganonshadow, for jumpstarting this. I'd thought of doing an April Fools one before but dismissed it, but when you mentioned it again I thought it over and started getting ideas. I hope everyone likes it! Read and review, please!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Gaara Discovers April Fools Day

"Hey, Gaara…" Temari whispered as she sidled up next to her younger brother on the living room couch. "Do you know what tomorrow is?"

"Sunday?" Gaara answered with disinterest, mind focused on the enthralling game of Tetris he was currently playing. He was doing pretty good, having already lasted to the hundreds, and had his eye set on the high-score, which he could almost hear calling his name.

"Well, yes, but no!" Temari huffed. "It's April Fool's Day!"

"What's April Fool's Day?" Gaara's eyes narrowed as the cubes began piling up. Damn. He needed a long piece quick or he was going to lose. And that precious high-score would no longer be his for the taking.

"April Fools Day is a day where you can prank anyone you want and get away with it," Temari explained. "It's almost expected! No matter who you are, you can get pranked by family members, friends, or even strangers. So…" She paused and glanced around nervously to make sure they were alone. "I've got an idea to get Kankuro."

Gaara paused his game and slowly turned to look his sister in the eyes.

"I'm listening."

---

Kankuro yawned loudly and snuggled deeper into the cocoon of warmth that was his bed. Night and early morning in the sand village could be rather chilly, so the earth-haired shinobi had taken precautions and placed several thick blankets on his bed before retiring for the day. Now he was glad he'd done it. He'd never felt so comfortable in all his mostly miserable life. Shifting around some more, Kankuro slowly cracked an eye open to glance at his alarm clock and see what wonderfully late hour he'd slept to.

There was something on the bed. It was sitting right at his feet. Kankuro squinted his bleary eyes and craned his head up off the pillow so he could discern what the hell it was. It was a small, dark shape, fuzzy perhaps? It was hard to tell with his eyes all blurry and sleep-filled. Frowning lightly, Kankuro leaned even closer-

And froze.

CAT.

There was a cat sitting on his bed. A freaking _cat_. Every iota of his being screamed bloody murder, but he forced himself to lie still and not do anything to provoke the feline. Instead, only moving his eyes, Kankuro slowly and carefully looked around.

CAT. CAT. CAT. CAT.

_His room was filled with cats_.

They lounged on his bed, sat on his desk, paced on the floor, all different colors, shapes, and sizes, but all the same damn species of vicious hell-cat spawned from the seven fiery pits of doom by the devil himself. Tensed like a slingshot and trying his hardest not to scream, Kankuro slowly lifted his gaze upward to see- _yes_. Yes, there WAS a cat sitting on his bed's headboard, gazing down at him with malicious intent, a purr rumbling in its narrow chest. He was completely surrounded by the enemy, and to make matters worse, he was unarmed.

Kankuro didn't dare move. Hell, he didn't dare _breath_. One twitch and they'd be all over him, yowling their heads off, lusting for his blood, clawing him into oblivion. All he had to do was wait. Cats always found ways to get out of places, didn't they? Just lie there and wait. Surely they'd grow bored and leave his room. Lie, and wait.

Oh, _shit_.

There was an itch on the tip of his nose.

One of the cats lazily flicked its tail and turned to stare at him curiously. Kankuro began sweating. The itch on his nose grew worse. It felt like there was a friggin' anthill on that sucker. Still he refused to move, steeling himself and pinning his arms against his sides, hoping for the itch to go away. It didn't.

Another cat looked his way, then another, and another. Soon every cat in the room had turned from what it was doing (sleeping, grooming, purring) and began watching Kankuro with such strong intensity that it disturbed him.

The itch was unbearable. Kankuro couldn't stand it anymore. He had to scratch, or go crazy. The cats all leaned forward as one. Kankuro squeezed his eyes shut and uttered a quick prayer to the Gods.

He scratched.

The cats struck.

_"Mraaaaaaaaawr!"_

"Aaaaaaauuuuuuggggghhh!"

Just outside his room, Gaara and Temari clapped hands over their mouths to keep from laughing aloud. It had been so simple, so easy. Using Gaara's natural attractiveness toward cats, it was easy to walk around the neighborhood and round up a good two or three dozen of the critters. Then they'd waited for Kankuro to fall asleep, eased open his door, and stuck the cats inside. Kankuro's smelly and leftover food-filled room was a haven for them, so they entered with nary a peep. It was perfect.

"See, I told you it was a good idea." Temari grinned and elbowed Gaara, who couldn't help but smile back. April Fool's Day was turning out to be one of the best holidays he'd discovered so far.

_Crash_!

Kankuro's door burst open and he came hurtling out, covered in hissing, scratching cats from head to toe. He fell to the floor and began rolling about desperately, trying to dislodge the felines and save at least some of his skin. The minute they'd escaped from Kankuro's room, the cats picked up on Gaara's presence close by and so let go of the bleeding boy and ran mewling to their deity of worship. Gaara leaned down and stroked their backs as they crowded around him, rubbing against his ankles and purring affectionately.

"April Fooooools!" Temari sang as she stood over her injured brother. He rolled onto his back and opened his eyes.

"You two…" he whispered, glancing from Temari to Gaara, who now had cats on his shoulders and head, "You two…planned this?"

"Yup!" Temari said proudly, a triumphant grin on her face. "We got you good, huh?" Kankuro was silent as he got to his knees and staggered up.

"Just you wait…" He said with dangerous softness. "I'll April Fools the _hell_ out of you two. Just…you…wait!" He turned dramatically to leave and tripped over one of the trailing cats, causing it to hiss and slash at his ankle, or what was left of it. Temari laughed as he dragged himself back to his room, tossing out the last of the cats before slamming the door shut. Gaara rubbed a calico cat's head, feeling a bit uneasy.

"Shouldn't we be careful?" He asked nervously.

"Oh, please." Temari rolled her eyes. "I'm not scared of Kankuro." Gaara wasn't so sure.

---

It was noon, and Gaara was almost at the high-score. Only a couple more thousand points, and it would be his. The stupid game kept giving him the damn square pieces, but Gaara sincerely doubted that the Tetris game was out to get him. Maybe Kankuro's threat was getting to him, but he'd felt like someone was watching him for a while now and jumped at every small noise. It didn't help that he was alone, since Temari was upstairs taking a shower, leaving him vulnerable to attack. But if things did indeed get dicey, Gaara always had his sand shield to rely on.

Gaara shook his head.

"Calm down," he told himself firmly. "There's nothing to worry about." He tried to make himself forget about Kankuro and instead focus on his game. He was even closer now. He could almost taste that high-score. It would be delicious. Sweet, sweet victory. Just another line and-

A bloodcurdling scream pierced the air, causing Gaara to jump in surprise and lose his game of Tetris. What on earth? Dropping the Gameboy, Gaara followed the scream up the stairs and screeched to a halt in front of the bathroom door. Temari was in there. Was she the one who screamed? Granted, he'd never heard Temari shriek to that extent before, but maybe something really, really bad had happened…

The door swung open and Temari stood there, dripping wet and wrapped tightly in a towel. Gaara opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but the words died in his throat the second his eyes caught her hair. Oh, dear _lord_.

Temari's hair was dyed pink. PINK! A giggle bubbled up in Gaara's chest but he quelled it before it could come out and seal his doom. Temari shivered and clutched the towel closer, looking like she was unsure whether to cry or start screaming.

"April _Fooooooools_!" Kankuro hummed, poking his head out of his bedroom.

"Kankuro!" Temari gasped. "You…! You are so frigging DEAD!" She hurtled toward him but he pulled his head back just in time. As Temari beat at the closed door in vain, Gaara could hear Kankuro's voice call tauntingly.

"You'd better watch out, Gaara! _You're_ next!"

Gaara's blood went cold.

---

Gaara had a plan. It wasn't a very good or well-thought out plan, but it was a plan nonetheless. First, he had to get out of town, away from his meddling brother. Second, he had to find a place to hide. Third, he would stay there until he was sixty. No…sixty-five. Then it would be safe. At least he hoped so.

Konoha was a good place to hide. Kankuro knew every inch of the sand village, top to bottom, but he didn't know Konoha quite as well. That gave Gaara an advantage, however small. There were nooks and crannies to duck into, old warehouses and building projects to crash in. It was the perfect place to hide. There were also Gaara's friends, who would hopefully lend a helping hand to someone in need.

"No, way, man! Sorry!" Naruto Uzumaki shook his head, his bright yellow hair swishing as he did so. "I'm not messing with Kankuro!"

"Huh?" Gaara frowned. All he'd said was that he'd pranked Kankuro and now needed a place to hide for the rest of his life until it was safe. What was so hard about that?

"You have no idea, do you?" Naruto sighed and began to explain. "Gaara, your brother is the April Fools Day KING. He's pranked everyone, and I do mean _everyone_."

"What…do you mean?" Gaara asked, still confused.

"I mean he's even pranked _Orochimaru_." Gaara's eyes went wide as Naruto went on. "He somehow sent him a box that was marked, "Top Secret" from Akatsuki, so Orochimaru went to open it, and guess what was inside?" Gaara's couldn't guess. "A _mongoose_."

Ouch. Gaara winced visibly. He was beginning to see what he'd gotten himself into.

"_Now_ do you understand?" Naruto asked. Gaara gulped and slowly nodded. "Good. Now get the eff out." He none-too-politely shoved Gaara out the door and quickly shut it.

Gaara sighed. This was gonna be tough.

"You pranked WHO?!" Sakura sputtered, nearly having a heart-attack. "Are you freaking crazy?! Doing that, it…it's suicide!" Gaara kept to himself the thought that someone _really_ should have told him sooner about his brother's exploits. "That jerk put a failing grade on one of my Ninja tests! I almost had a nervous breakdown! And what he did to Naruto…" She shivered.

"What…" Gaara couldn't bring himself to ask.

"There was a lottery at the Ichiraku Ramen stand," Sakura explained. "The winner won a lifetime supply of Ichiraku Ramen." Gaara could already see where this was going. "Kankuro gave Naruto a _fake_ winning ticket."

"Has he no shame?" Gaara thought as he turned away to try somewhere else.

Sasuke simply slammed the door in his face. Gaara resisted the urge to write something involving the Uchiha's hairstyle and a duck's ass on the side of his house and forced himself to move on.

Choji's eyes went wide and his jaw fell open when Gaara explained his situation to him. The red-haired sand sibling's voice trailed off as the chubby boy began trembling all over in terror.

"What…did he do to you?" Gaara couldn't help but ask.

"He…" Choji whispered, licking suddenly dry lips and sweating profusely, "He took all of my junk food in my room and replaced it…replaced it with…_vegetables_!" Gaara stared at him, dumbfounded. "I nearly died! Sorry, Gaara. This is all I can do to help you." He gave his friend a bag of potato chips and sent him on his way.

"As much as I'd _love_ to," Ino flirted, fluttering her eyelashes at Gaara (who leaned back and began rethinking his course of action), "I can't." Gaara forced himself not to jump for joy. "He gave me a diet-bar that he said would make me lose five pounds." Gaara waited. "I gained ten."

He had to run for it before he starting laughing in her face.

"It's _waaaay_ too troublesome…" Shikamaru shook his head sadly and Gaara's hopes sank. He thought that since Temari and the boy genius were close, he'd be able to find a suitable place here. No such luck. "He took all my hair-ties once. I couldn't leave the house until my dad went and bought some more."

"Why didn't you just borrow some from him?" Gaara wondered.

"I can't wear my dad's hair-ties!" Shikamaru frowned. "Are you kidding me?" Gaara gave up and left.

Shino said nothing, simply shaking his head in a firm and unmistakable 'no'. Gaara sighed.

"I don't suppose he stole your sunglasses?" He asked jokingly.

"Worse," Shino answered solemnly. "He sprayed me with insect repellant. I felt so alone for days." Gaara actually felt a little sorry for him.

"S-sorry, Gaara…" Hinata looked ready to dissolve into tears at the thought of turning him away. "But that Kankuro…I-I just can't."

"It's alright," Gaara consoled. "He didn't do anything really bad to you, did he?"

"He…" Hinata bit her lip and shuddered. "He told me Sasuke l-liked me." Gaara made a mental note to kick Kankuro in the crotch the next time he saw him. Which would be in sixty years, if he was lucky.

"Aaaagh! Get away, I can't be seen with you!" Kiba growled in panic, his hackles raised and eyes wide. Akamaru barked in agreement, head-butting Gaara's leg in an attempt to make him leave. The sand shinobi stood his ground.

"Why not?"

"That guy!" Kiba looked left and right, sniffing the air cautiously. "He waited till everyone was asleep, then blew a dog whistle. I thought the end of the world had come." Gaara decided to try somewhere else.

"Kankuro?!" Ten-ten scowled. "I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole! You know what he did to me?!" Gaara didn't really want to. "He took _all_ my weapons and clothes and switched them with _girly_ stuff! I had to go on a mission dressed in a miniskirt and tube-top, armed with a Barbie! Granted, I got a lot of compliments that day, but it was still horrible! I'm sorry, but you can't stay here!" Gaara accepted this.

"NO." Neji stated firmly, glaring at Gaara with his white eyes as he stood in the doorway of his house. "As a matter of fact, never come here again."

"He sent you a love-letter from Ten-Ten, didn't he!" Gaara called as the door swung closed.

"_Shut up_!" Neji barked from behind the door, confirming Gaara's suspicions.

"What is the matter, Gaara?" Rock Lee asked, weight-training at the top of a waterfall. "You seem a bit down."

"I pranked my brother for April Fools Day," Gaara explained, "and now he's out to get me."

"Guuh!" Lee dropped his weight, which landed on his foot. Hopping around, clutching his appendage, Lee looked sorrowfully at his friend. "I am sorry," he said, "but it seems I can be of no help to you here. You see…" Lee paused, a pained expression crossing his face. "Last April Fools, Kankuro, he…he shaved off my eyebrows."

Gaara tried to imagine Lee without his huge caterpillar brows and seriously _couldn't_.

"What's this?!" Guy-sensei came up behind the two and placed hands on hips. "Are you in trouble, young Gaara? Tell me your plight, I shall aid you in any way I can! Who is it you are running from?" He ended his speech with an embarrassing pose.

"Kankuro-" Gaara had barely uttered the name before Might Guy gasped aloud and recoiled in shock, a look of pure horror and dread plastered on his normally smiling mug.

"H-him?" Guy-sensei whispered harshly. "That boy…! I'll never forgive him!" He began whimpering in fright. Gaara raised an eyebrow at Lee, who thankfully got the point even though Gaara had no eyebrows to speak of.

"After Kankuro shaved my eyebrows," Lee explained, "he went and shaved Guy-sensei's head."

Gaara wondered where the hell he'd been last year and why he had to miss all of this.

---

Gaara sat on a lone rooftop in Konoha, at a loss as to what to do. None of his friends could shelter him from his brother's wrath, and he didn't think he could live in a rabbit hole for the rest of his life. He had to face it. There was no running from Kankuro.

Standing up, Gaara took a deep breath to calm himself. It was better to just accept the prank, rather than running away. Perhaps he should have done this from the start, gotten it over quicker that way. It sure would have saved him a lot of white hairs.

"Gaara." A voice behind him caused him to spin around, ready for anything. But once he saw who was behind him, his jaw dropped open and he froze.

It was Keifer Sutherland.

THE Keifer Sutherland. Keifer-freaking-Sutherland. It was _him_. The same narrowed eyes, the perfect scowl, the just-right bad-ass air he had about him. It was him, alright, no doubt about it. Gaara thought he was going to faint.

"Gaara," Keifer said again, taking a step forward.

Gaara's breath stopped. This couldn't be happening. There was no way.

"Come, Gaara…" Keifer smirked and held out a hand. "Come, and fight the terrorists with me. We need your help…" Gaara felt as if his heart was going to explode as he slowly extended his own hand and took his beloved hero's invitation. Smoke enveloped them both, but he ignored it.

It was the best day of his life! It was his dream come true! It was better than he'd ever dreamed! It…

It was Kankuro holding his hand. He'd been using a henge-justu and the smoke had been from dispelling the disguise.

"APRIL FOOOOOOOLS!" Kankuro crowed. "Ohh, I so TOTALLY got you! Haaaahahaha! How's it feel, huh?! I gotcha pretty good, didn't I?!"

Gaara didn't even pause. He tackled Kankuro just like Rock Lee had taught him.

---

"Ouuuch…" Kankuro groaned, lying prone of the rooftop, too hurt to move. "Did you _really_ have to kick me between the legs?"

"Yes." Gaara answered shortly, sitting a distance away. He was watching the sun set behind the far-away mountains. Beautiful oranges and reds swarmed across the sky, giving him a sense of inner peace and calm. "Will Temari's hair always be like that?"

"Nah…" Kankuro gave a grunt of pain as he sat up. "I just wanted to scare her. The color fades after a day."

"Oh." Gaara couldn't help but chuckle. The two watched the rest of the sunset in silence, the laws of brotherly bondage keeping them from having to converse.

Kankuro looked over at his brother, a mischievous glint in his bruised eye.

"Wanna go April Fool Sasuke by pretending to be Itachi?" He asked. Gaara mulled this over for a few moments. April Fool's Day really wasn't as bad as he'd originally thought it to be. He might even make a list for next year.

"Only if I get to be Kisame."

The End!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Author's Note: Oh dear lord, that was fun! I was giggling and laughing the whole time I wrote it! I hope it was the same for everyone else when they were reading! Sorry it took so long, I guess my writin' mojo meter needed some charging after depleting. But I wrote it all in one sitting! Took me three or more hours, though. Daaamn! I need to get a life, huh? Just kidding. I hope you all liked it! Later! Review, please!


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